SUCK IT CHARTWELLS!

Oh are you surprised? Well let me just run down this detailed list as to why Chartwells is now on j champayne's axis of evil.......
1. Your lunch ladies are facebook stalking me. There are two of them that facebook stalk me and openly admit it in the cafe when I see them! There is one in particular, she is engaged and has a kid..... the plot thickens right? She keeps messaging me on fb, and I am making it known that I am not egging this on in any way so she doesn't get any false hopes or ideas or anything.... its just too damned creepy if you ask me! I am at a loss for this particular subject right now so on to my numero dos!
2. I witnessed a fight in the cafe tonight... this wasn't your ordinary fight either, this was between two girls! I'll do you one better....CHINESE girls even! And guess what?? NO karate was used either, it was like I was watching two white girls fight, pulling hair and slapping! There goes that stereotype that all Chinese people know karate! Turns out the reason they were fighting is because, one girl said to the other that her man was cheating on her... the guy that is supposedly cheating (also a chinamen, works for chartwells) was right there in the midst of this heated battle and was trying to break it up! I couldn't really understand the Chinese dialect they were speaking so I don't know exactly what happened, I only know Mandarin unfortunately... but anyways back to my point! Although the fight was entertaining and quite possibly made my night..... I don't go to the cafe to be a spectator at a fight club, I go for the food! So this needs to be addressed asap before someone dies and then we are all in trouble!
3. The food, up til spring break was surprisingly awesome! But then after spring break, something happened and.... well to be quite honest, the food, for lack of a better word, has been shitty to say the least! SUB PAR if you will.... so we need to fix that as well!
So these are just three that I mentioned.... three of many, on my list of bugaboo's from Chartwells! I am almost to the point where I don't even want to go into the cafe anymore.... it is no longer a comforting environment.... all I have to say is thank goodness its the end of the school year!

Fire alarms!

I was just in the zone writing another blog until, to my dismay, I hear a loud beeping! I am like "what is that"? So I pause my music, here the obnoxious noise, I see the silhouettes of people running by my door and the gloom sets in... could this be?? YES! It's a damn fire alarm, we have to now exit the building into the cold weather outside for a while! So whoever pulled that... I'm puttin you on notice and guess what all you ass goblins that pull fire alarms?? You are now on j champaynes axis of evil!
Now friends, where did fire alarms come from? Who is the pioneer/innovator behind this contraption? Well let me just tell you.... Francis Robbins Upton did it in 1890! So yes, Francis Robins Upton, you are now on the axis of evil as well, congratulations! And thank you, for making such a convenient, not loud or annoying at all, piece of plastic with a lever that practically invites damn near everyone who walks by to pull it... it does say "pull down", I mean God forbid we make them boring or disguised so when we walk by we don't have to make a life alternating decision..... "Do I pull this, possibly get caught and commit a federal offense, or just keep walking"??

I BET YOU DO!

I was just thinking back on a past experience in my life.... July 25, 2003. Mission Beach, San Diego, California! People were going crazy.. why you ask? It's simple, sandcastle competition. This years winner was going to be in next months issue of "Sandcastle Grandiose". It was my dream to be in such a spectacular publishing! I had been laying out and totally cogitating my every blue print, this was going to the most majestic exhibit anyone had seen.
As I was saying, that day I began to build this beautiful piece of architecture. For 3 hours, 180 minutes I was out there laboring away like a mad scientist on his innovative new robot! IT WAS COMPLETE! But to my dismay, I turn around for 10 seconds looking for the judges to come, and what do you know? This little shit of a kid (fat and around the age of 9) was all up in my sandcastle like he was Godzilla coming out of the damned Sea of Japan terrorizing, just absolutely mutilating my masterpiece!! I wanted to choke the kid... but he was overweight, and fortunate for him, he was too young to lay an absolute merciless smack down on! So I threw, what was left of my castle, in his face and let out a bellow to display my anguish!! That didn't help... so I just went home in utter shock!
Having said that..... guess what overweight children who ruin sandcastles (and anything else someone builds) you are now on j champayne's axis of evil!! thanks a lot, i love rebuilding things after it just took me half of my day to make that one, you animal!

TELETUBBIES!!!!!!

As a new edition to my blog... I am going to start developing a lil some'm some'm called "j champayne's axis of evil". Pres. Bush had one so I can have one as well, and guess who is going on there first??? Ill be damned if it isn't the teletubbies!! Look at these a holes, dancing in someone's garden it looks like to me... NO DICE! That pisses me off actually as a matter of fact! Im puttin you on notice teletubbies, you are now on j champayne's axis of evil! Dont smile, thats not a good thing you little jerks!