Friday, March 19, 2010

THE BOSTON TEA PARTY




Dear readers,

I would like to inform all of you that the following conversation that took place at 5 p.m. March 19, 2010... was between Evan Freeman and Jordan Payne! Now, friends you may ask yourself... how on earth did this topic arise??? Well to be completely honest I don't really remember BUT, I can disclose to you that it did arouse my faculties. I have always wanted a legendary party, one that would always have a place in history and one that everyone would remember, just like the Boston Tea Party! Now what was the Boston Tea Party? Read the following conversation and maybe you will figure it out......


Jordan: I have always wanted a party, like the Boston Tea Party... cuz it was remembered by everyone!


Evan: First off, ummm tea blows! I don't see what the big fuss is! And to be honest, it sounds like a lame party. I hope these guys were drunk, because otherwise there would be zero fun involved! If it wasn't for the political significance of the ordeal, these guys would come off as total douches for doing this!


Jordan: I can see this now.. a bunch of angry Americans in a meetinghouse and then a lightbulb goes off in someones head that says to another in the meeting "hey, this meeting sucks... you know there is a ship full of tea right? Just right there on the harbor! AND...I am pretty sure we could liven this town up a bit by throwing every single barrell of it overboard"! "And we can call it, a tea party haha"!!


Evan: I am going to have to disagree with this anonymous figure that you just created! I don't know who this guy is.. ummmmm but he is being pretty inconsiderate of the fishes. Cuz you got a harbor that tastes like shit, I'm sure the fish don't appreciate it. And in turn, it will change their taste.. then you are changing the whole economy cuz people dont want to buy fish anymore! They aren't going to want to buy "tea tasting" fish! I don't want fish sticks that were dipped in tea!


Jordan: I love fish! I hate tea! But I also like cinnamon... which means nothing! History also says that these men dressed up as american indians before storming the ship and chucking the barrels overboard! Where was the law at when this occured? No police? No British soldiers?? Where was everybody? Maybe they were just standing in a local pub, looking out on the harbor thinking "Ohhh noooo, they're rioting again"! "Maybe we should just let this one go, they look like they are having fun!"


Evan: How is there not a more precise number of how many "indians" are throwing them over? I suppose I could understand, if I am a British soldier, and I see 320 indians on a boat who clearly have as much hate for tea, that I do! But if there is just 30, they are not doing their job, and they are not doing the Brifish any favors! And by Brifish, I mean the British and fish!


Jordan: This was one hell of a party, it was like a costume party/riot! You know come to think of it they must have been drunk because the person that was running the meeting prior to these shinannigans, was Samuel Adams.... yes just like the booze! This party sparked the American Revolution. Who saw that coming? I mean really Britain, it was just tea! You shouldn't try and bring that crap over here because I don't know anybody who likes tea! If anyone was to blame for this party, look in the mirror!


Evan: Long story short, too many people died over tea! I'll bet you why they were grumpy.. cuz they didn't get their tea... one dead person is too many dead persons for tea.. PERRRIOD!


Jordan: "They're throwing out all of our tea you STUPID AYASSSSSS"!!

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